My nephew has his mother’s skin – he tans easily but is an honest color, the kind society does not question. I cannot imagine looking at him and seeing his innocence wrapped in a darker shade, knowing it could make him one of those kids you see in the videos. I exhaust myself being thankful, dreaming up adjectives which keep him safe. I exhaust myself feeling guilty for the same. I didn’t watch it, the latest video, where the white cop kills the black man because he exists on the white cop’s shift. I already know how it goes:
black man stands or moves / white cop hollers he’ll shoot / black man says, please, no / black man begs white cop not to shoot / white cop shoots / white cop shoots / white cop shoots / white cop shoots / media paints a victim / media has us choose / black men lose.